Today Ariella and I had lunch at Franchuk to celebrate her birthday from last week. Excellent French toast, btw. So there we were, Ariella sipping her sachlav, me sipping my ice cafe—two super Israeli drinks—and we hear Jingle Bells playing in the mall.

It was the first time I’d heard Christmas songs in the mall here. I’m not just talking this season, but since I moved to Israel five years ago. It was the weirdest thing. We even saw a Christmas display at the hardware store behind me / in front of Ariella (sitting opposite at booth). We remarked on how strange it was, but we supposed Christians may come from all over the Golan to Katzrin and there must be a market.

As we continued our breakfast-y lunch, we…kept hearing Jingle Bells. It played over and over. And over. And over. Just a small part, and then it looped back around and replayed. Over and over and over and over.

What the hell kind of sadistic mall does this???

We debated complaining to the mall ownership about this horribly annoying, looping song blasting over the mall audio. I don’t care if we change it up and play a Christmas song, but why in the name of the holy red heifer* did it have to be a few bars only, on repeat forever??

(*possible blasphemy)

Almost like an obnoxious toy that children adore and their parents despise.

Which gave me an idea.

I got up and left the restaurant area. I walked over to the Christmas display.

Yes. An electronic moving Santa was playing Jingle Bells, loud enough for everyone to hear. It was a central part of their Christmas display.

I immediately picked up the Santa, turned it around, and removed its batteries. (I left them behind the Santa.) The shop woman eyed me as I passed her. I walked back to Franchuk without an ounce of shame.

Beautiful silence. Wonderful meal.